The Patriot Hunter
by HelloMyNameIsEd
Summary: A certain war-hardened mercenary of TF industries has wandered into the Hunter's lair. Will he survive? Or will the Predator add a new trophy skull to his belt?


**Hello there! This is a quick oneshot that I thought up of. Keep in mind that this is a TF2 X Predator crossover. Please enjoy!**

The darkness inside the building meant that anyone inside would be almost blindly stumbling in the dark. Despite this, the door to the large building creaked open. A man had just entered the building, looking around carefully. This man wore a helmet over his head which was a bit too big for him, as it covered his eyes. He had on a red coat with a sloppily-folded collar, revealing a white undershirt underneath. He wore brown military-style pants and combat boots. Two orange grenades were strapped to a belt that ran diagonally across his torso. A motif of a yellow circle with the red silhouette of a rocket in the center emblazoned on his left arm's shoulder sleeve. He carried a Shotgun, a Rocket Launcher, and a shovel. Signs of perspiration were visible on his face, but not from fatigue; the temperature outside was hot, very hot for this time of year.

The Soldier looked around, trying to see if he could find what it was he was trying to kill. He observed the building carefully; this was supposed to be their newest arena. As he had been briefed, the Administrator had supposedly found a new place where RED and BLU could do battle: a large, abandoned building. By the looks of it, with several hooks hanging from the ceiling with large sides of beef attached to them, and a closed door with a sign that said: "REFRIGERATION UNIT", he would have to say that this was a slaughterhouse. Or rather, it used to be a slaughterhouse, until the Administrator managed to get it for herself. Immediately, the Administrator had set to making the place battle-ready, having her workers install the capture points and respawning bays. However, things quickly went awry.

The workers were all killed off the first day on the job. Needless to say, the Administrator was displeased. Recently, she had decided to send one of her elite mercenaries to do the job. She wanted this new arena, but she didn't want to put her _beloved_ mercenaries at risk. Besides, she knew that the Soldier was the only one who was capable of clearing this problem up _and_ do so with the least amount of collateral damage. He had been advised to only use his Rocket Launcher in the worst-case scenario.

He looked around, both to see if he could find the hostiles, and to give himself a head-start advantage when studying the layout of the building. It served a dual-purpose for him: he could satiate his desire to kill and get a head-start ahead of the rest of his team, and not to mention a head-start of the BLUs. These hostiles he had heard about were very strange in their method of killing: the workers were all killed by means of a sharp weapon. Some were cut nearly in two, others had bloody holes where something had penetrated them, and a few of them even had their entire heads missing. These must have been some strange religious group, or a madman who used primitive weapons.

He walked deeper into the slaughterhouse, and kept looking around. Still nothing. Maybe they had left? He set his rocket launcher down, leaning against a pillar, and walked ahead more. He made it to the center of the large room, and then turned a full circle on the spot. This place was relatively simple in layout, but it was only the first room. He walked ahead, and opened the next door. Soldier peeked his head out carefully, as if worrying that he would be seen. In this darkness, it would have been hard to see him, or the hostiles. He walked forwards, observing this next room: metal staircases spiraled upwards into catwalks, which stretched across the entire length of the room. _Those would make good ambush positions,_ Soldier thought, having in mind both tactics for his team, and the hostiles. He'd have to keep an eye out for those catwalks.

Then, he heard it: a rattling sound, like something had accidentally been knocked over. His head snapped towards the direction of the sound, all his senses of full alert. He wasn't scared, no, he was merely being cautious. He knew what fear was, he had gone to war before. He didn't earn his title of "Soldier" just for what class he was. This would be a piece of cake.

He walked forward, being _cautious_, and then stepped out into the open.

"Alright you frilly leotard-wearing _maggots!_" he shouted, "show yourself, and I may end your sufferable existences quickly!"

He didn't hear a response. Only the slight rattling of chains in the wind that was barely audible gave sound to the room. He growled, and pushed onwards. These pathetic wastes of skin were also _cowards_, and obviously _not American._ That gave him enough reason to push forwards with little regard for his own safety. He had entered another room now, this one with rows of beef hanging from hooks that were placed lower to the floor, so that the slaughterhouse workers could inspect them closely. Soldier looked around, and saw nothing, but the beef caught his eye. It wasn't spoiled yet, and little droplets of red juice could be seen dripping still from the bloody carcass. He put his shotgun down, and took out a large knife; the cow's ribs would make an excellent meal for his return trip, and it was a perfectly manly cut of meat.

The Soldier set to work on cutting himself a generously large chunk of rib-meat. He sawed off the thick red muscle, and finally placed it inside a pack he kept with him, not bothering to wipe off the blood or even cover it in a cloth. He put his stained knife away, but his eye caught sight of another side of beef through the hole he had made in the first one. The side of beef had been greatly reduced, having been torn away at by a set of strong and sharp teeth; probably rats. However, upon closer inspection, he saw that sections of the beef had been cut away cleanly, as with a sharp knife. By the way the meat was cut, it didn't even look like a knife cut it; a knife would have to saw away at the beef, these cuts were straight and clean. It would have taken a very large cutting tool to have done that.

He picked up his shotgun again, and scanned his surroundings. Plenty of beef lined the rows, but no hostiles. In his annoyance, he took aim, and shot one side of beef. The meat was torn off its hinges from the force of the gunshot, and the sections of meat that gotten hit were reduced to ground beef. It wasn't enough, he wanted to kill something moving, breathing, _living._ If he had known that this was going to be a game of hide-and-seek, he would have stayed back at base, eating ribs and soup and killing BLUs by the dozen.

Then, he heard it: a soft chirping sound. He spun around in the spot, his shotgun aimed high. It was hard to tell exactly where the sound had come from, given that it had probably echoed throughout the room, amplified by the walls, but he could tell that the sound had come from inside the very room he was in.

"You useless wastes of skin! Stop hiding and _fight like men!_" the Soldier yelled, trying to coax the cowards out of hiding. Only the sound of wind rattling more hook chains disturbed the silence. He looked around, and walked down the rows of beef hanging from the hooks.

This room was a dead end, with no windows and high, solid walls, and more catwalks that were partially hidden by shadows. The only way out would have to be the door he had just came through, and there was another door in the last room he had seen earlier; he could go check there. He started to walk back to the previous room, still being alert.

Then he stopped, coming to a realization: The room had high, solid walls, and partially hidden catwalks. The chains from the hooks had been rattling from the wind, but this was a closed room; _there was no wind._ He spun around in the spot, hearing another chirping. He scanned the catwalks high above, but saw nobody. He was going to go look for the ladder up the catwalks, but his eye caught a light, a red light, that was seemingly shining on him. Out of instinct, the Soldier made a dive to one side, just in time to avoid getting hit by the explosion.

Bits of beef showered all around him, the juices staining his uniform, and forcing him to shelf himself with his arms. He looked up, and saw that the light was shining on him again. He got up, and made another run, just in time to avoid another explosion. These people were _not_ using primitive weapons on him.

He kept running, but raised his shotgun, and fired in the direction of the shooter. The sound of his shotgun firing resonated against the walls loudly. His bullets did not find their mark, making pinging noises as the buckshot pellets penetrated the wall and made holes in metal. Soldier took cover behind a pillar, loading his shotgun with a few extra rounds. He inhaled once deeply, and peeked his head out from the cover. He looked around, but all signs of the shooter disappeared. He barely noticed the three red dots finding their way onto his helmet. He ran forwards, avoiding the blue projectile that was fired at him. He fired another round to the shooter, and this time, he heard them _growl_ in pain. What kind of man simply growled in pain when hit by shotgun rounds? Even a Heavy cried out in pain when his shotgun pellets found their mark into him.

Sounds of footsteps on metal let him know that the shooter was moving. He looked, but he couldn't see the shooter, not even a dark figure. Then, he heard something thud behind him. Something had fallen from above, and it was very large and very, _very heavy._ Soldier turned around, but only saw a distorted figure standing before him. Regardless, he raised his shotgun to fire, but the figure grabbed his shotgun and pulled it to the side, where the buckshot hit the wall, and more beef. The figure wrenched the gun out of his grasp, and then it punched him. _Hard._

The man's punch sent Soldier stumbling backwards, his head turned to one side from the sheer force of impact. It had felt as if the Heavy had punched him when he tried to take away his "sandvich". But this was no calorie-loaded Russian. Soldier looked back to the figure, and pulled out his knife. The figure didn't move, instead seeming to shift its position.

"Die you sneaky sonofabitch!" shouted the Soldier as he charged forwards, knife raised high. His hand stabbed downwards, but his hand stopped in midair, being held in a vice-like grip. Another hand grabbed his neck and lifted him up, leaving his legs dangling. The sudden move caused Soldier to drop his knife. His hands grabbed at the hand holding him up, trying to pry the fingers loose, but to no avail. He then grabbed hold of the shovel at his side, and swung it across the figure's face. Surprised, the cloaked figure dropped him.

Soldier stepped backwards, his trusty shovel in hand. The figure advanced forwards, ready to fight. Soldier looked around for anything that could help him. He saw a nearby pipe, and he hit his shovel against it. The workers had left in such a hurry, they forgot to turn off some of the factory's functions, and the water sprayed onto the man. The man growled, but it sounded restricted, as something restricted its ability to vocalize. However, the water deactivated his cloak, causing the man to be visible.

Soldier finally got a good look at him, and realized that this man…wasn't a man. He wasn't even human. He was tall, very tall, definitely taller than the Heavy by several inches. He had a muscular build that looked like the Heavy too. His skin was a greenish hide that looked reptilian in texture. He had a large array of armor and gadgets on him, including a metal chest plate and metal shoulder plates, two different-looking gauntlets on each wrist, a small cannon-like device at his shoulder, and a metallic grey mask on his face that hid any facial features from sight.

The creature growled, and charged at Soldier. The mercenary jumped back to avoid getting hit by the creature's fist. He then ran forwards and tried to hit it across its face with his shovel again. The creature avoided the hit, and then did a backhand strike, and Soldier was sent flying like a rag doll. He crashed onto the floor painfully, but got up quickly nevertheless. He knew one thing: trying to use a shovel against this thing would get him nowhere, unless dead was a place, then he'd be getting _there_ very quickly. He needed his shotgun back, or his rocket launcher. But his rocket launcher was two rooms away, and the thing was between him and his shotgun.

The seven-foot tall behemoth growled, and flexed its right wrist. Two very long, very sharp blades extended out of the wrist gauntlet, and the creature raised its arm, ready to fight. This thing was bigger and stronger than him, and had amazing reflexes too. It was possibly better armed than him, too. However, Soldier wasn't afraid. This thing wasn't scary, at least not in relation to things he had seen before, compared to the horrors of war. He had told people before: he had personally killed _6,078_ men in cold blood while looking them in the eye - and counting, he had jumped on _1,455_ live grenades, and he has stuffed 14 feet of his own intestines back into his stomach. If this _thing_ thought that it could scare him, much less _kill_ him, then he would have to show it just how wrong it was to mess with a true _American _ patriot!

The creature swung its blade, but Soldier jumped backwards. However, given the blade's extended reach over its fist, the blades scraped across his chest, ripping through his clothes completely. It had barely grazed him, but it had managed to draw blood, with little red droplets of it seeping through the freshly-opened wounds on his chest. Soldier, unfazed, swung his shovel across its face again, causing a resonating bonk to echo throughout the room. He ducked just in time to avoid having himself decapitated on the spot. He ran a bit to increase the distance between them, and turned around to see the creature suddenly holding a long spear.

He dashed behind a piece of beef, just in time to avoid getting impaled through his chest. The spear went right through the meat, and cut his right arm, causing him to yelp in pain. It still travelled several more feet, lost in the vast expanse of beef. Putting his hand to his bleeding arm, Soldier growled.

"What's the matter with you freaks of nature and your knives? This isn't the Civil War! Use guns, dammit, like a real man!" he shouted. Despite his obviously flawed knowledge on American History, and the high possibility of the creature not knowing the English language, the creature growled a challenge back at the mercenary. Soldier growled in frustration; he had gotten hurt twice now, and that thing hadn't even bled a drop yet, not counting the stray pellets that managed to find their way to it, since it had barely hurt him. He looked to the side, and saw the shotgun several feet away. He might me able to make it if he ran.

After a few moments, and putting away his shovel, Soldier decided to just wing it, and made a dash for the weapon. The Predator was upon him quickly, but the Soldier managed to turn around in time to fire the weapon. The buckshot ammunition from the shotgun was most effective at closer ranges, exactly where the creature was now. The pellets tore holes in the creature's hide, causing fluorescent green blood to spatter. The creature roared in pain, and stumbled backwards. Soldier pumped the shotgun, and fired again. The creature roared again in pain, but didn't stumble, and instead, thrust forwards with its wrist blades. Soldier blocked it with his gun, which buckled at the force put behind the thrust. The force was also enough to cause him to fall on his back, onto the floor.

The creature took the opportunity, and prepared to bring its blades down on him. However, just before it could land a fatal blow on him, Soldier took aim, and fired at the nearest body part he saw: the groin. The Predator roared again - and if he didn't mishear, it sounded a bit higher in pitch - and it clutched its area of pain.

"Scum-sucking freaks like you do not deserve to _reproduce_!" said the Soldier, pumping his Shotgun once more to put another round in the chamber. The creature simply growled in pain, but could not move. Soldier pulled the trigger.

Only a clicking sound came out. Soldier pumped again, and pulled the trigger again. Still, nothing. He could not have run out of ammo, he had only fired about 5 times, he should still have at least one round left. There could be only one other explanation: the gun had jammed when it had gotten hit by the wrist blades.

"Work, dammit!" he growled in frustration as he tried to fix his gun. He did not notice the creature recollect itself, and stand upright. He was between fixing the gun and throttling it, when he noticed the creature standing in front of him, angry and impatient. It wrenched the gun out of his hands, and then ripped it in two, like a child's toy. It let go of them, and the individual pieces fell to the floor harmlessly. The creature growled, and the Soldier looked scornfully at the thing. Then, he ran.

In his mind, he was not running away, but tactically retreating; it was a completely different concept. He made it into the next room, and dove behind the nearest piece of cover he could find. Barely moments later, the sound of the door nearly being thrown off its hinges was heard. The creature had entered the room, and saw looking for him. He heard footsteps coming closer to him, and the sound of the creature heavily sniffing the air. If he wasn't the man he was, he would have wet his pants by now…wait, he _did_ wet his pants. He looked down, and saw that there was, indeed, a stain on his pants, but it wasn't his own. It was from the juices of the rib meat he had collected from that cow. _Rib meat…_

_"_Oh FUCK!" Soldier thought, and he dove just in time to avoid another explosion from its shoulder cannon. However, the splash damage from the explosion hit him, and he grunted in pain from the burning. He was now out in the open, and quickly got up to run. He looked behind him, and saw the creature prepare another shot. He ducked, and felt the white-hot projectile burn as it passed over his head; any closer, even if it _grazed_ him, it would probably take off a limb.

He burst through the door, just in time to have the wall beside the doorway to explode, and debris to fly all around. Soldier was knocked forwards, and he fell onto his back. He got up, and looked back to see the creature stepping through the newly-made hole in the wall. Wasting no time, Soldier got up, and made a mad dash to his rocket launcher, having fallen over on its side from the force of the explosions that the creature's shoulder cannon made. Not bothering to slow down, for fear that the creature would catch up to him, the Soldier scooped up his beloved rocket launcher from the floor. He turned around just in time to see the Predator getting ready to pounce.

In the split seconds before it did so, however, Soldier managed to aim the rocket launcher at his feet. Then, in defiance of all good sense and judgement, and not to mention physics, Soldier fired a rocket at the floor under his feet, just as he jumped. The explosive projectile detonated under him, and instead of reducing him into a charred piece of meat with anger issues, it launched him skyward. The creature landed, and its blades only struck the air where the Soldier used to be. The creature looked around, trying to locate its lost prey. When the smoke cleared, it was obvious that the human was nowhere to be found.

"Eat crocket, you _maggot!_"

The creature didn't know where the voice had come from, but it obviously knew something was amiss, and jumped forwards, just in time to avoid the explosion that followed, which blew up part of the pillar instead. Upon landing, it looked up, and located the Soldier, standing on a catwalk, who took aim and fired again. Once again, the projectile was avoided, with some difficulty, however, and the creature jumped onto a large machine, before jumping onto the same level as the Soldier was, on the catwalk. The Soldier fired again, and the creature fired its own projectile at the Soldier. The two explosives collided in midair, and the explosion blew up the section of the catwalk that divided the two.

The metal warped and bent at an unnatural angle, and burn marks were present. The smoke cleared, and the creature jumped through it, towards its prey. Soldier fired the last rocket in the chamber he had, but it narrowly missed the creature. The rocket continued to fly, and hit another pillar, destroying it in the process. Bits of debris flew, but they went unnoticed as the Predator readied to strike the man down, once and for all. The Soldier's rocket launcher had flown out of reach, and now he was weaponless, and vulnerable.

The Predator thrust its blades into the Soldier's chest, who cried in pain. Blood began to drip out of his mouth, and onto the floor. The Predator lifted the man up with the blades still inside him, and watched as the Soldier slowly died. However, the Soldier wasn't dead yet. The Soldier's hand grabbed onto the grenade he had at his belt, and pulled the pin just as the last whips of life faded from him. His hand fell to his side, and the pin of the grenade fell to the floor, falling off the side of the catwalk, and onto the floor. The Predator removed the blades from his prey's chest, and got ready to take its skull as a trophy.

However, an explosion suddenly threw the Predator backwards, and made him stumble over the side of the catwalk, landing very painfully on his back neck area. It tried to move, but it suddenly noticed that it lost its feeling in some of its limbs; it had damaged its vertebrae from the fall, having landed against the floor and having been crushed under its own weight. It growled, first in annoyance, then in pain, and it settled down. Things got worse, however, as the room's walls began to rumble. The Soldier's stray rockets had unintentionally hit the supporting pillars that kept the ceiling from falling down. Having been weakened considerably from the rockets, the ceiling began to give away.

The Predator tried to move, but it was all to no avail. It was as good as paralyzed, if only in certain parts of its body, but it was enough to render him mostly immobile. It could only watch in horror as the ceiling collapsed on top of it. Several hundred pounds of rubble easily crushed its ribcage, dooming the hunter to a slow and painful death.

…

"I assume that you failed the mission, given that you came back in the respawn bay?" the Administrator questioned the Soldier from her television screen, who was currently looking down, his helmet covering his entire face, and his arms folded. "I am ashamed of you, I thought that the oh-so _mighty_ Soldier would have been able to dispatch this _minor_ threat. I'm just glad that the respawn system applied to the range you were from the nearest base. I would have had to hire another mercenary. They don't come cheap, you know."

The Soldier looked up, and said, "I may have died back there, but I still gave it a hell of a shiner, that's for sure."

"Well, regardless, how am I going to-"

"Excuse me, um, Helen?" said Miss Pauling, the Administrator's young aide. The older woman turned her head to look at the younger woman, who simply gave her some documents in a manila folder. The older woman opened the folder, and inspected the documents, her eyes scanning the pages rather quickly. Finally, she gave a disgusted grimace, then shut the folder, and handed it back to Miss Pauling.

"Well, I guess it wasn't that good of an arena anyways," said the Administrator, holding a cigarette to her lips. She blew a ring of smoke at the television screen, and the Soldier simply stared at the older woman.

"It seems that you didn't _completely_ fail your mission; our building team found a body at a pile of rubble where the would-be arena used to be. You wouldn't happen to know about this, would you?" asked the Administrator.

The Soldier scratched the back of his head to the best of his abilities, and said, "Well, I had to make sure it died. I killed it, didn't I?" he said. The Administrator put her fingers to her temples, and sighed.

"Yes, I suppose. At least we got something out of it," said the Administrator.

"And what would that be?" asked the Soldier, unusually curious. The Administrator smirked.

"The body they found there had very advanced weaponry, which will be shipped to Mann Co., our weapons supplier, to be reproduced; be expecting some new _toys _at some point in the future," she said, tapping her cigarette end into an ashtray, the grey bits falling into the clear tray.

The Soldier smiled, and stood up. He saluted her, and said, "Yes, sir!"

"Now get out of here, you're a waste to my time," said the Administrator.

"_Pauling, cut the feed," _the Administrator whispered. A chord was heard being unplugged, but the screen didn't fade.

"_That was the coffee machine! The television feed is that one! That one over there!" she whispered again._

Finally, the screen faded to black, and the Soldier was left alone, only with his thoughts about the cool new weapons he'd be able to use in the future.

**If you guys read my last fic (which was my first fic), and then read this one, you'll think I hate Predators. I do not, I think they're awesome. That's why the Predator won the main battle. The Soldier was only lucky enough to be in range of the respawn system's effect. There is no real explanation to how respawn works (why should there be?), so that part is from my belief of how the system works. Okay, that's it for now! Peace out!**


End file.
